How to Deal With Remote Work Loneliness: Why It Happens and What To Do About It

How do I deal with loneliness when working from home?

Everyone’s asleep but you, if you work nights. Everyone’s in the office, in school, or some other place outside ng bahay, and you’ve been sitting in your WFH station the whole day, if you work close-to-regular hours.

Every day or every night, you’re used to remote work by now, and you’re happy. Happy you get to make a living without the hassle of commuting or dressing well. But why do you feel what they call “remote work loneliness”?

Generic advice tells you that since you’re online most, if not all, of your work hours (and more), join online communities. They also tell you to make time for social activities.

These don’t work (we’ll tell you why as you read on).

How to deal with WFH loneliness, and keep balance and stay in a good headspace (more times when you don’t, because nobody can be okay 100% of the time <3)?

 

Why Does Working From Home Feel So Lonely?

Physical isolation is one of the major causes, especially for people who live alone. Along with isolation potentially increasing the feeling of loneliness:

Blurred work-life boundaries, fewer (or poor) channels of voicing the need for support, high job demands (when managers or bosses expect you to work overtime since you’re “just at home anyway”), and fewer casual interactions with your coworkers are contributors (data taken from New York Fed and the University of the Philippines Open University).

In remote work, the environment and the work itself take away peer-to-peer contact. By the mile. Which means contact has to be deliberate and sustained, and it isn’t exactly an SOP in most remote or hybrid teams.

 

What is loneliness?

 

What Are the Signs of Loneliness For Work From Home?

According to research specific to remote workers and loneliness, some of the noticeable signs are dips in energy, dips in mood, how much (frequency) you talk to other people, and a change in how you talk to other people.

Here’s a breakdown of what to watch out for when meeting “how to cope with loneliness” head-on:

Research on remote workers showed how stress, anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and, when left unchecked, depression are linked to loneliness and isolation in remote work.

A note on contact with coworkers: even online contact can contribute positively or negatively to how online workers experience loneliness. Less contact is directly linked to a higher likelihood of feelings of loneliness.

These are things you can easily notice, from changes in energy and mood to how you talk to other people. No single sign settles it. But one word is something you need to keep an eagle eye on:

Frequency.

How often these signals take hold.

How to Qualify Loneliness Signals Linked to Depression

Am I depressed or just lonely?

According to the US National Institute of Mental Health, use a two-week window for observation. Do a self-check every day, before your day begins. Check your mood. Check your interest level in your tasks, or a hobby you like doing daily (sports, cooking, music, etc.).

You may be experiencing depression when you notice low mood or loss of interest lasts most of the day, and nearly every day.

If this is the case, NIMH advises talking to a health care provider when symptoms follow that pattern. The last section of this article covers where to get help.

 

Why Don’t Other People Get Lonely Even If They Work From Home?

Some simply have a higher comfort level with solitude. Personality is a hero influencer in this context:

A remote professional who enjoys their own company (and always has, even before transitioning to remote work), may spend most of the day alone without experiencing loneliness.

Personality traits like extraversion or neuroticism, as research also points out, may pull weight in how likely they are to experience WFH loneliness than people who enjoy their own company and need less social interaction to feel connected.

 

How To Deal With Loneliness On Night Shifts?

1. Regularly Interaction With Friends and Family Before Logging In

One practical solution (not the only one, but is the easiest to apply immediately) is to have contact with people you normally talk to daily during those crossover hours. Hours you’re all awake.

Example: If you sleep at 10 AM and log in for work at 8 PM, set your alarm for 6 PM (or before, if you don’t sleep the full 8 hours). Open your door and walk out of your room. Kaya mo yan. Be in the space where your family is – kitchen, dining table, living room.

If you live alone, do video calls.

Loneliness on a night schedule comes from being awake when the people you’d talk to are fast asleep.

2. Put Social Time in the Hours Before Your Shift

NIOSH training material says night shift workers usually sleep less than day shift workers. They sleep less well, too. The training material recommends that those early mornings after a night shift (called “prime sleep time”) be free from chores or errands.

Even if you can’t go to bed and have nothing else to do?

Yes.

Another piece of advice, this time from The Sleep Foundation: avoid going out with friends right after clocking out of your overnight schedule.

Go back to number 1 – the best slot for healthy social interactions (not partying; talking to those who matter to you, in person or over calls) is the hours before you log in.

3. Keep Your Sleep Schedule Steady, Including Days Off

For permanent night shift work, the Sleep Foundation recommends a consistent sleep schedule even on days off, with at least seven hours of sleep per stretch/day.

Plans with friends? It’d be better if you work them into this schedule. Better still, pick a regular time for meet-ups. While you’re at it, explain why. They’ll be more obliged to follow this new schedule if they know it’s to help you maintain a good sleep schedule.

And, as a result, overcome the signals of loneliness.

Light Affects Sleep, Too.

Your worker station/corner’s main light source during work hours (fluorescents) can be used to adjust your body’s circadian rhythm. Keep those on during the first half of your shift.

During the second half, dim them one notch lower (if dimmable). Other options are to switch off one of the two light sources, or to wear very lightly tinted sunglasses to achieve that less-bright effect. You’ll think yourself ridiculous regarding the latter suggestion, but it works!

It’s to train your body into knowing when energy is supposed to be at its peak, and when it’s time to wind down and prepare for sleep.

Over time, this can help your body adjust to your work schedule, even when the rest of the household is running on a completely different clock.

4. Use The Hours You Overlap With Your Team

If you work US hours, the overlap with your team may be the only live conversation in your shift. Speak out. In as literal as that sounds!

Of course, you’ll have to learn what everyone’s schedules are like, so you won’t end up sending a chat in a thread where everyone’s on break.

If you’ve built good working relationships with key team members, and you’re comfortable opening up about personal triumphs or trials, tell them. Set up voice or video calls, or have a short chat before (icebreakers) or after virtual meetings (personal updates).

A short daily call with teammates gives you regular contact.

 

Why Do You Feel Lonely When Your Family Is Home?

Living with family or other people (flatmates, friends) isn’t equal to zero loneliness. “Them” being there doesn’t guarantee conversation or meaningful interaction during your workday. The New York Fed research has something to say about this:

Remote work raises the time people spend alone.

That’s the thing about this entire matter. More time spent alone.

True, family at home lowers that risk. But it doesn’t change the fact that for 8 to 14 hours, you’re on your own. They can be sitting in the same room with you, but as a remote professional, you’re in your own headspace and workspace when in front of the laptop.

Several common reasons for feeling alone in a full house (from CBS News)

• Your working hours overlap with the household’s busiest hours, so you’re in the house and unavailable.
• Family members see you at your desk and may not know what your job involves.
• On a night schedule, everyone is asleep during your shift.
• The talk you do have tends to be about meals, errands, and schedules.

A few changes help:

Tell the people at home your working hours, the times you can’t be interrupted, and the times you’re free. Explain your job in a sentence or two, once, so they know what you’re doing at the desk. Share one meal a day with phones put away. Choose one person for a short daily catch-up, and let it be about something other than chores.

How to deal with loneliness when you live alone?

Two weekday evenings: a call with a friend or relative at the same time each week

One weekday: work from a cafe or coworking space (the same guide suggests a change of scenery for cabin fever)

One weekend plan with people in person

Optional: a friend comes over and works beside you (see Home Co-Working)

Going to the same place on the same days also builds familiar faces over time.

Related Read: Here are 9 Ways to Take Care of Mental Health While Remote Working.

 

When Is It More Than Loneliness?

Loneliness that lasts can lead to depression or anxiety, so it helps to know the signs.

Signs it has gone beyond loneliness

NIMH says depression is diagnosed when symptoms last most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks, and one of them is low mood or loss of interest in most activities.

Its list of symptoms includes:

A persistent sad, anxious, or empty mood, hopelessness, guilt or worthlessness, loss of interest in hobbies, fatigue, trouble concentrating, changes in sleep or appetite, and thoughts of death or suicide.

A diagnosis comes from a health professional. The WHO says effective treatment exists for mild, moderate, and severe depression.

How loneliness connects to it

Research on remote workers links loneliness with stress, anxiety, and depression, and found that people facing isolation are more likely to have mental health problems when their emotion regulation skills are weak.

The Science study also found that remote workers used mental health services and prescription medication more often.

Where to get help regarding anxiety and depression in the Philippines?

The DOH says the National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) crisis hotline is open 24/7. NCMH lists these numbers:

NCMH reports that needing someone to talk to is the fifth most common reason people use the hotline. A Philippine Mental Health Association representative has said that asking for help is not shameful. Don’t wait until it becomes a crisis.

If you’re thinking about harming yourself, call now or go to the nearest emergency room. Your employer or agency can also tell you what support is available through work.

 

Who Supports You As You Overcome Isolation While Growing Your Career?

Working from home can feel lonely, especially when your workday rarely includes a proper conversation. Having someone to turn to when work gets difficult can help, even if it doesn’t replace the friendships and social contact you need outside work.

Remote Staff provides Filipino WFH professionals opportunities to work with U.S. and Australian clients who not only value your place in their teams, but understand remote work-related loneliness and isolation.

And since we’re a managed provider, know that we’re here for you, too. We don’t take this lightly. The moment loneliness bites harder and keeps you from being your best, we’ll help make sure we get through this together.

If it’s something we can improve in team structure, schedule, WFH setup, or more, we’ll look into it with you.

 

FAQs

Related Read: Find out more about How to Maintain your Remote Work Social Life.

 

You Deserve a Life Outside Your Laptop

Remote work can give you more control over your day, more time at home. You get the freedom to earn a living without spending hours in traffic. Then again, there may be days when the house feels too quiet, and the only people you’ve spoken to are on a work call.

This is comfort to some. To many, they turn into black holes of missing connections.

WFH loneliness is common, and building regular, meaningful contact into your life can help you feel more connected.

If you’re looking for remote work with support beyond recruitment, get in touch with Remote Staff today.

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